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Old 02-13-2011, 08:20 AM
vodkafan vodkafan is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 228

Hi Sage

>Just wondering why you're asking this? I hope it's because it's working so well for you you're wondering why it isn't more common? <

I didn't have any special reason for asking, except maybe I don't have any problems right now and it has been ages since I posted anything..

> I would hate it.
I feel like I have put too much of my life into this relationship to end up having it only part-time. Two houses would feel so much more part-time than us all in one.<

That is fair comment. Although I do believe it is the part-time aspect , the enforced (perhaps too strong a word) regular separation that has improved the QUALITY of our relationship. I think it is working for both relationships, because she has told me that she feels her feelings deepening for both of us.

>Another thing I thought was that it if I was your wife I would find it draining. Because each of you guys have been away from her for a few days you are going to be really keen to see her. That means that she is going to have to keep going at a much more full-on pace of relationship for most of the time. <

In the beginning I know for sure she was drained by it. But only because she was arguing with both of us all the time. It was the poly emotional rollercoaster the whole time without a break. But then when things calmed down and the bad days grew less and less she seemed to start thriving on it.
There is for sure a lot of sex. But she was always very practical about that. In the beginning of the V she used that as a way to make me feel OK, loved and wanted, but for a while now I haven't needed that. But we still do it almost every day.

> I do wonder whether it will be sustainable for her over a long period. How long have you been doing this so far?<

Interesting point. It has been 7 months now. She came out to a female friend a while back which has been good for her, her friend has met both of us men in turn and she spends one morning a week with her friend pampering themselves. So she has her alone times away from us to get a break.
"The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times but to get up eight times"
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