I used to listen to this radio show where the host was a psychologist. She was a big fan of not telling about cheating. Her advice was to deal with it oneself and change! She thought that it was better to hold that feeling inside of having done something terribly wrong against another and not let them ever know what you did so that they would then not suffer. The thought being that once someone knows they have been cheated on that they then wear the burden of that and that the cheater has then put something on them. I can see that idea in a way because the person then is relieved of their guilt and their own pain and passes on the coat of it to the person they have cheated on.
It might not be such a bad thing if he doesn't tell her. The thing is to make a change in himself and come out clean with himself. This might mean that you will lose him. I'm sorry if that is the case... as it will hurt you. What I am not sorry about is the fact that he will be gone so that you can create something better. You deserve better... someone who is willing to make an effort that shows you that he wants to honour your existence in his life by being up front, rather than shuffle you away and have sex with you behind someone else's back. Sure you learned a lot and stuff, but I believe that even if we don't agree on your role and responsibility in all this, anyone deserves better than to be a mistress to someone else's cheating behaviour.
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