Ragabash and I signed a separation agreement (his idea, which I agree was a good idea. He wrote it and brought it to me for reading and signing).
As of the 10th, I move out of our apartment, where he's going to go back to (he was living with his parents) and as of yesterday I'm in California with my boyfriend Seamus, until May 10th or earlier.
The difference in time is because I left the apartment at 3 in the morning to get to the airport for my flight at 7:30, but then there had been a mix-up, and I couldn't fly until the 11th at 1:30 pm. I spent the time in between at the airport. The customs was an ordeal, but it's all over and done with now and I'm glad for that.
Rag and I want to remain friends, but we have agreed that for that to happen we need to get over the separation first, and therefore we're going to be in contact very little for the next while.
Seamus and I were supposed to go to a poly pagan party tonight (celebration of Lupercalia), but I'm tired, weak and sick (infections... started while still in Canada, I had to go out a lot since I was leaving alone, and the weather has been terrible. So I have a lung infection, a sinus infection and am generally infected a bit everywhere. It's a pain since I'm allergic to antibiotics) so we decided to decline in the end. It's too bad because I was really looking forward to it, but I probably only would have made things worse, and he things I need to stay home and rest and he needs to stay home and take care of me (won't complain about that).
So... right now I'm spending time with Seamus, seeing how things work out. I don't see why things would go wrong, but I've just separated from my husband so I'm being a bit more careful this time. Then I'm going to France and depending, either trying to get a visa to move to the US with Seamus and build a life together, or staying in France and trying to build a life there.
Either way, I learned a lot about myself along this journey, and I am much happier with my life, uncertain as it is, and I feel much more confident that I'll be able to do what I want and need. My situation isn't that different now than it was in Canada: I'm still not allowed to work or study, or to stay forever. And yet, while I felt imprisoned over there, I'm feeling free here. I hope I can keep it that way.