View Single Post
  #5  
Old 02-11-2011, 09:47 PM
Tolvelski Tolvelski is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 8
Default

Today I talked to counselors about the relationship that my girlfriend and I share and about all the things that have happened. Now I didn't just get one persons opinion but multiple and they range from friends to counselors with master degrees in human relationships and interpersonal communication. And sadly all have said the same thing to me, break it off. One said that the relationship that my girlfriend and I share is a child and parent relationship where I fill the roll of the parent trying to get her up to the same level as myself so that I no longer have to be a parent but instead a boyfriend like I should be. But the problem is no one can get her to mature to the point that she should be so that we may be on the same level except herself. Till she chooses to grow up, it well never work. I have been told on multiple accounts that we should break up and I should find someone on common grounds as myself and that for herself, she needs to step back look at the life she is living because till she makes a change things well be the same. By her remaining immature she well always fill the role of a child so that the only matches she'll have are ether she'll find another person that shares her immaturity and they'll never have a serious relationship. They'll have the relationship of two little kids that like each other but also know what sex is. Or she'll find someone who knows what common ground they stand on and want to find someone who shares that in which case they well never last because they well quickly notice her child like attitude and leave her for someone who act more their age. Or finally someone like myself well come along and fill the role of the parent and try to help her like I have the past year in hopes that she well grow up so that we can share common grounds and perspectives. From what Ive been told over all the short sessions was that she is not a polyamory, she is a immature teenager who still wants to get things her way and because a friend told her about polyamory she has take that on as a excuses for her actions so that she may get what she wants and that is to date girls which she prefers over men.

From experience with our relationship I know she well not survive in a serious relationship because she does not take in to consideration anyone's thoughts but her own. Over the time I have been with her it has always been about her, I have constantly been selfless in our relationship and focused on helping her but forgot about my own needs in the long run which is why I have been depressed and felt degraded. I am not getting my emotional needs out of this relationship while all she does is take. When she needed help because of hurt feelings I was there for her to help her out of her slump and yet when I even want to see or speak to her lately it's ether she changed her mind about seeing me like today, something came up in which she just doesn't want to see me even though she still could, or she tells me like she has multiple time before that she is busy and doesn't have time nor want to talk or see me right now. And the saddest part is that she says she i busy and I hadn't seen or spoken to her for say three days and she tells me she is busy reading manga and listening to music on the internet and another time she told me to forget about coming over cause she was busy and when I got there she was just playing Sims on the computer so pretty much a game was more important then me, her boyfriend. Of course when I complained she reacted immaturely by saying I have something against her playing games which I don't it just she puts them ahead of us. I have actually walked out and left cause I was supposed to spend the day with her and all she did was ignore me and play games. Then later she said if I had a problem I should have just said something and yet when I have she gets all crappy with me. Recently she spends most of the week with friends and just blows me off and when she isn't with friends she comes up with an excuse as for a reason not to see me. She has a hard enough time dealing with a mono relationship with me and yet she thinks she can take on a poly relationship which I know she cant nor is she a poly herself. The reason she didn't have a poly relationship all the other times was cause she was in in a relationship with a girl and yet when she tries to be with a guy now all of the sudden she isn't okay with a mono relationship but is instead a poly all along which I find as a pathetic excuse. This is why I dont want to try this poly thing because I know she is lying, she says it's whats in her heart but whats really there is not the poly drive for multiple relationships but instead the drive for female companionship. Which is why she has always had a mono relationship with girls and a pathetic excuse for a poly relationship with the only guy she has ever dated other then myself. She is not a polyamory, that is a lie and an attempt to get what she wants like normal. Im sorry if I wasted your times since it took me a bit to put 2 and 2 together.
Reply With Quote