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Old 02-11-2011, 09:46 PM
zephyr zephyr is offline
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Arizona
Posts: 9

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
How about trying some reframing? In other words, look at some of the issues from a different perspective, give it new context.

I would start by no longer telling yourself you "don't orgasm easily." It may simply be that you haven't yet found the best technique yet that makes you cum. Once you find it, it will hella happen real easily! And btw, many women do not cum from penetration, that's no biggie. But seriously, doesn't looking at it like, "Hmm, I just haven't found it yet" seem more fun and exciting than, "I don't orgasm easily?" One perks up my ears, the other makes me pout.

And instead of looking at all this as a problem, and an issue, and a concern -- ugh, heavy! -- make it a game. Call it, "How Many Ways Can Zephyr Cum?" Keep it fun and light. Try different positions, techniques, repetitive movements, pressures, etc. Start looking at different options that you haven't tried yet. Think of it like a treasure hunt.
The last time we talked, I had thought this was what we were going to do... and then we went back to the same stuff.

I think for me, it's becoming an issue of trust: will my partners take care of me like I take care of them? There have been episodes of one or both of them falling asleep in the middle. While the explanations are valid, it doesn't change the emotional blow. (I recognize we all own our sexual needs. So, in the end, I can take care of myself. But it hurts that I see to it they have no need to take care of themselves, but won't do the same for me.)

I think that's where I'm at today: dealing with the emotions and trying to find a way to either (a) not take it into myself as them not desiring me or (b) get them to realize how isolating and lonely it feels in my shoes. Right now, I wonder why I should put myself in a vulnerable position, trusting they will reciprocate, when it's clear they won't.

So far, I'm not succeeding on either count. As Ariakas suggested, I am working on a letter (email). I guess I'll just have to see how that is received.

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