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Old 02-11-2011, 08:03 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

Originally Posted by zephyr View Post
With her, I feel just a general lack of interest to be with me, which she denies when I say something about it. Perhaps it's just dumb luck and timing, but she's never really available/interested when it's just the two of us any more. So, it feels like, "I guess he is getting her motor revving and I'm just along for the ride." I feel I give my all and more to her pleasure, trusting she will do the same for me. It's getting a little harder to extend that trust...
I realize this might be a vanilla relationship (sorry I am guessing since you don't mention any sexual dynamics beyond sex). But sometimes sexual compatibility plays a role in desire. If he is dominant sexually and she is submissive, his moves turn her on and visa versa. If you two are similar, and don't turn each other on the same way, it could be as much something about compatibility as it is about desire.

The sexual dynamic is an important one... it might be good to understand what each of you bring to the table.

I find I do relax more when it's just one-on-one. However, right now, I think there's 2 things going on:
Group dynamic isn't for everyone. You might need to look at that angle too. Not everyone wants a hot threesome everytime. It doesn't make you less poly, it just makes you less likely to lie in bed with two people everytime.
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