Originally Posted by Purpurea
for me having sex with someone is something between me and the person I have sex with. It has nothing to do with her and I'm not taking anything away from her. Of course, it will probably hurt her a lot and I feel very sorry about that, but I refuse to feel responsible for it. She thinks that me having sex with him might change his feelings for her, which is not the truth, so I'm not willing to act as if it was. I will not ask for anyone else's permission if I want to have sex with someone who wants to have sex with me too, just make sure that other people I was romantically involved with, would know. That might sound quite radical and coldhearted, but I couldn't be further away from not caring about other people's feelings. I just can't and won't take over responsibility for how they feel. I think it's not ok though that although he has a monogamous relationship with her, he has sex with someone else, that it happened behind her back, and that he hasn't told her yet. But I think he already started lying to himself and to her when he agreed to become her boyfriend, making her feel as if she were more important to him than me. Hope that answers your question?
thanks, that does answer my question. Your perspective is interesting. Have you ever been cheated on by someone you believed was fidelous with you? If so, has it worked for you to own your emoitions and expect nothing from your partner or anyone else involved? Is this a common thought in your circle, your culture? I'm seriously interested because I have been toid that it is in some cultures. That it is expected that people will cheat.