I admit it, I am 50% just reading your posts because I enjoy your writing style. The one about having to redraft your whole personality had me chuckling. But yeah, I hope you work this out. I think you should meet your man's other lady more , get to know her a bit. I think that will help everything. At least you will know.
"The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times but to get up eight times"