Thread: New & confused.
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Old 02-11-2011, 08:41 AM
abhainn abhainn is offline
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: London
Posts: 12

Hi Red Pepper, thanks for reply, the lack of connection indeed resonates.

Unless I ask, he doesn't tell me much/anything about his partners, it's almost like they don't exist. On the other hand, I don't know what to ask, and how to ask (learning, though), I feel I'm intruding in his 'private life'.

Sometimes I'm scared of asking, there were many times in the beginning when the answer hurt.

It's such a slow growing into poly, isn't it, and the difficulties change. Early on, I used to scan his flat for signs of other people. The toothbrushes, what a shock I don't do that anymore, my place is more established and secure.

Every time when my level of emotional connection has changed, it has been hard. When love deepens, security lags behind for a moment. That is scary and sad.

As an answer to your question, yes, I think I'd go deeper. Carefully. We are both being very careful in this way, I notice.

And yes, I often feel I can't reach him, and then don't know what to do, how to find the connection.

Good pointers, thank you.
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