I said ideal, you said utopian, so what's the question again?
I think when my ex and I went poly, it seemed so freeing and right, it became extra heated for us when we had a lover.
And in the past 2 years, the sexiness just seems to flow back and forth when my gf or I get a new lover, or come home from an encounter with a longer term lover. I think it makes us feel newly appreciated by the other person, and so we come home feeling all glowy and looking pretty and radiant and that turns the other one on and so on. Just a big circle of yumminess.
I'd just feel bad if a person's sex drive was all turned toward the OSO, causing less and less interest in and bond with the other partner. I feel strongly that NRE shouldnt override the passion with the primary.
This is my Utopia!