I can't say I adore you Cindie, but I sure like you a lot.
I was married for 30 years, together with him for 33. Our sex life went up and down. For us, it was stresses, and my underlying needs as a bisexual, which he didnt accept, and my inborn poly nature which we didnt have a name for for 20 years.
And we did have 3 kids in 5 years after being together 10 years. We didnt' have family nearby to help with childcare either.
But once our youngest turned 4 and started sleeping thru the night, and we felt comfortable with having teen babysitters or leaving them with the (distant) grandparents and aunts for a week at a time, things really heated up again and we had a 2nd honeymoon. That is also when he finally somehow wrapped his head around me being bi, and also when we started exploring being poly.
We found taking little weekend getaways together really helped too. There is something so hot about hotel sex.
I find it disturbing when married poly people have more sex with their OSOs than with their primary. Not to be critical, I think it's a good thing to discuss and be concerned about, is all. Sex with OSOs isnt supposed to replace sex with the primary, it's supposed to enhance it. Ideally.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags, F, 60, poly-dating, loving and living with
miss pixi, F, 38
Punk, 42, M (dating since Oct 2015)