I've been a bit remiss in reading the forum lately, due to my own need to pull back from my tendency to "do too much", but I did want to mention how much I care about you and RP, and your family, Mono, and offer support in the form of a listening ear (you know where to find me). I know only too well the struggle of desire and boundaries, either within a poly relationship or a poly/mono one, having been up close and personal to both.
I don't want to offer any critique here of the way you're both handling this; being local, I can *see* how much love is involved in your interactions and struggle, which perhaps some of the members on this forum can't see.
It's been my experience that a combination of honesty and vulnerability (not sex, not polyamory, not monogamy.. ) is what keeps love thriving. I've watched you grow, and yes, change (!) over the last couple of years into a person who is much more comfortable with his own vulnerability, and I'm not sure you know how much you're admired in our community for this.
(And, just so you know, I LOVE spending time alone in my room; nuthin' wrong with that!