Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG
Again this thread has been sidetracked by why I have boundaries.
Is that really surprising? You and RP are at odds, things seem pretty darn shaky in her mind/psyche right now. It is very unfortunate she cheated on you 2 years into your relationship (NRE just fading?) and only 3 mos after you all made the huge effort to move you into her house.
There is an awful lot going on here, it seems natural to me this thread is all over the place. After all, it's a public board and people have the ability to put their $.02 in. If you didn't want feedback you could just stop posting for a while...
Whether you step back and let her have other lovers, and thereby become more of a friend, or put your foot down and say, no way to other men... well, those are quick fixes. There is a lot of underlying work for both of you to do. I know men like to step into quick fixes, but I hear her telling you it's not about logistics (who's fucking whom) but more about her self esteem issues leading her to "lose her mind," and forget about your agreed upon boundaries in the heat of the moment with Leo.
She seems frustrated you're not hearing her saying that.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags (poly, F, 61) loving miss pixi (poly, F, 39) since January 2009, living together since 2013
"Master," (mono, 34), miss pixi's Dom for 3 years