Thread: Mirror Mirror
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Old 02-10-2011, 12:16 PM
Fayerweather Fayerweather is offline
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 52
Default Mirror Mirror

Feeling a little fed up with the judgement coming my way from friends and family about my Poly lifestyle. While I suppose it could be worse (my friends and family are generally accepting of the way I live my life), there is a semi-constant undercurrent of judgement and disapproval that runs through my interactions with them when I mention anything about my partners or partner's partner.

My mother often makes barely veiled suggestions that one of my boyfriends is better/more successful/nicer than the other and that I should break up with the one and stay with the other. My mother, sister and women friends often imply slyly that I'm more attractive/nicer/or better than my boyfriend's girlfriend. She and I are close and I love her very much, so these implications are hurtful and irritating to say the least.

What is even more frustrating is that I'm beginning to see Polyamory as a mirror that you hold up to people's fears and insecurities. Every time I come out to someone in my life, I'm instantly confronted with homophobia (I'm not gay/bi and neither are my partners or my partner's partner), or fierce disclaimers that they could NEVER do that sort of thing.

It seems as if the way I choose to love is a direct reminder to every mono person in my life of every tiny little insecurity or fear they might have. Fear of their own partner's possible infidelity, fear of change, fear of jealousy or fears about their sense of worth in their relationships. It's really a stunning example of psychological projection at work

I know it's up to me to just live my life the way that makes me happy, but reactions like this make me want to get the word out about Polyamory in a BIG WAY. It's just weighing on me a little extra this week I guess.

Well thank you for listening to my rant. Anyone else have ways of dealing with judgements or examples of things to do in these situations?
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