Originally Posted by SNeacail
It does seem like you are spending more quality time with your other partners and neglecting each other. After 14 years, it can get to a point where it is nothing more than comfortable and familiar. While cuddling on the couch watching TV at the end of the day(when your both tired) is nice, it's not the same thing as spending a couple hours or more actually focusing on your partner.
I can't say I agree with this. One day on a weekend and an hour or so during the week doesn't seem like overkill to me. I know people that work away from home more than that... anyway just my two cents on the matter.
It sounds more to me like a case of either out of sync (which happens in all relationships from time to time in varying degrees) or some possible underly cause that has yet to be addressed. The oddest things can get in a persons mind and fester, causing all sorts of problems. Something a simple as an offhand remark can plant the seed of insecurity and doubt.
If this sexless trend started around the time one or both of you began "secondary" relationships I'd start digging for answers/causes there...