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Old 02-10-2011, 10:45 AM
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MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Ping-ponging around Europe, trying to get a publishing concern off the ground
Posts: 552

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
[...] So you are cheating then! I think you have a lot of fessing up to do and a lot of apologizing. You have destroyed the trust of another and come off as uncaring about it. Cheating is not poly. It's cheating... [...] you have already built a relationship on lies and dishonesty. The one you are in is based on that... you are still not in a poly relationship. You are having an affair. [...] There are a lot of poly people but not too many that would be interested in a cheater. Poly comes with a set of values that don't involve cheating. Poly is based on full knowledge and consent of all parties involved. You are not practising this [...]
While I agree with most of your comments (not just the ones I quote here), I think you're being a little harsh on Pupurea, and I don't agree at all with your evaluation that she "come[s] off as uncaring about it" or your calling her a "cheater". As she's said, she's "new to polyamory [... has] always been polyamorous throughout my life, I guess, I just wasn't aware of it."
I myself am new to the term and the movement "polyamory", and there's much for me to learn. Purpurea comes across to me as someone not at all new to the feeling, but new to the practice - and for a while, it was polyamory, because the "other woman" did know about it. SORRY! Not quite correct. It's not polyamory without all parties' consent.
But I assume that we're all feeling our ways along in this relatively new movement, I certainly feel that Purpurea's heart is in the right place, and I think that advice to a "newbie" from someone with more experienced in the movement should be more kind, forgiving, and understanding than judgemental.
If I can't dance, I want no part in your Revolution.
- Emma Goldman Anarchist and Polyamorous par excellence
The person who says something is impossible should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- old Chinese proverb
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~ Anais Nin
I'd rather have a broken heart / Than have a heart of stone.
- from "Boundless Love (A Polyamory Song)" by Jimmy Hollis i Dickson
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