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Old 02-10-2011, 04:37 AM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post

Nor does she correct?
Correct you are

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
I've come to understand that (mostly through talking with you actually. But, I think that this is a difficult concept for some people and so they percieve a meaning that isn't there when their mono partner asks to pull back to a secondary position... does that make sense?
I can totally understand that. I guess it is like the way a partner can respond to their loved one asking to have another lover. Both can be fueled by the unknown fear of what will happen and how things will change.

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
So-on that note-is it ok with you to know that you aren't facing reality (not "right now-I mean at all)? Because my perception of you is that, much like me, you are constantly seeking a better understanding of yourself and acceptance of yourself as well as having a strict desire to see and understand reality.
If this is correct, then that compromise will ultimately fail. It may work for a short time, but eventually your mind will overpower the decision and demand that you face the reality for your own sense of sanity. At that point-who the hell knows what will happen....
Do you see that as a risk? I know it would be for me. Cause I've done it... too often I fear. ;(
You are right. This would be about coping with reality rather then embracing it. To say that I can cope is one think that I would truly embrace Redpepper being open to other men is a completely different thing. I will be sacrificing part of my happiness to see her achieve more of her own. But most relationships of any type involve this. The risk is...could it be sustained? If I look at this as an ongoing thing in my life..having a partner that is open to relationships when they develop however they, I don't see it being sustainable but I don't know for sure...and so we would have to risk that possibility to find out.

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post

My gut reaction is because you are avoiding it in order to pretend it's not there... I could be wrong. It's one thing to accept something and simply not encounter it much. I adore Maca's ....whatever she is at this point. She's amazing. I rarely see or talk to her, but only because time and circumstance don't allow for it, not out of a need to avoid.
I would definitely be pretending it doesn't exist to an extent....or at least trying not to think about it. I fully aknowledge this goes against much of what we all see as healthy. But it may need to be tested to be able for all of us to live the way we want.

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Monogamy might just be in my genes

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