Mono, I can understand you getting a little defensive on your own thread . I identify with a lot of what you say although your situation is much much different and you have been in poly much longer.
It is certainly OK to be afraid of change mate. Fuck I was afraid many times during the last 6 months, things are great now but I am sure that sometime in the future I might get afraid again, who knows? I don't know how I will react.
I hope I will do myself credit, but someone else will always judge that I let the side down.
To some poly's, we will always be limited people, emotionally incomplete or stunted or something, because WE DON'T SEE RELATIONSHIPS AS THEY DO.
That is just how it is.
Are we the selfish ones, or are they selfish? We are all people. I try to switch it round in my mind sometimes, to see if I have a dormant poly gene or something. WHY do I not want another woman? I can answer this easily, it is because I would find no joy in chasing or keeping or flirting or sexing with anybody while my beloved was still in the world.
Anyway just wanted to give you a little public support. You have my respect my friend.
"The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times but to get up eight times"