Originally Posted by JuneBug
He owned up to what he'd done immediately, without subterfuge.
I can't say i agree with that, as it took a while for him to admit to it. if he had owned up to it immediately, and then wanted to discuss it, and try to get through the hurt, and broken trust with you fixed i would see it as a major mistake, but a mistake nonetheless. To me this seemed to be a deliberate act, possibly to find an "out"
The fact that he's on the fence about wanting to fix the relationship is a red flag for me, as from my own experience as a guy when we say that it usually means that we've already "checked out" of said relationship. I'm very sorry he hurt you in this way, but i appreciate the fact that you are able to discuss it with strangers. I know you're asking for advice, but this can, and probably will help other people who are, or become tangled in this difficult situation. So, thank you.