Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG
I'm using myself as an example to take on this thread:
Yes, the dynamic of the relationship changes but it also changes with the addition of new partners. Is it "fair" to expect no change in current partner dynamics in light of the desire to change the dynamic by adding new ones?
Is it fair to ask existing partners to "not" change when they are themselves being asked to accept change?
If both people are getting some of what they want while still maintaining relationships that they both get something from...is that not feasible? Is that not what compromise is about?
I'd like to try to stay somewhat on target with this because I know there will be a tendency to ask "why don't you work on getting over this issue as opposed to avoiding it through stepping back". Been there…will be there again I am sure
Well I think you know where I'll come down on this but for the others.
Yes I think it seems more than fair. As "coupled people" we have all gone to an event or gathering that we did out of obligation or kindness or perhaps guilt or fair trade, meaning if you go here.. I'll go next time with you. In the poly dynamic everyone is doing what he or she wants and there should be no shortage of people to do it with. < No pun intended > I know I've been at my sister in laws house on beautiful summer day thinking fuck I could be on the golf course or sailing or at my summer place... actually just about anywhere else.
I've grown to dislike beautiful summer wedding because all the time they consume... if it rains or forecast to rain I'm much better. To be fair I always find a way to have fun at weddings. Now I may not have do any of those things I did out of coupe-dom anymore. The problem I have is with the kids. The message it sends... All the lectures I gave when they said why do we have to go.... that kind of crap. I think you in the perfect position to choose activities that are more fun/rewarding and or less painful
Good luck with this.... see ya in Sturgis