I wonder, though...
How often is this the problem: Someone signs up for a 2 mile walk. They show up with a bottle of water and pair of comfortable walking shoes, well-prepared for a casual stroll in the park. Then they're blind-folded, thrown in the back of a van, hauled out to Denali State Park, given some books on how to collect rain water and which mushrooms are safe to eat, and then the other hikers start down the trail.
They're told that they don't have to go on the hike, but the van's going to meet everyone at the end of the trail, so if they want to get home, they better start walking.
So they try to keep up, but it's really hard to learn about edible mushrooms and safe water collecting when you're unprepared in the forest, starving and thirsty, and the rest of your group is 3 miles ahead with CamelBaks and energy bars.
Most often, when it's just one person is struggling, it's because they never really signed up for this whole poly thing in the first place.
So quite honestly, whether your mono partner is dragging their heals or not, remember that you're the one who changed the sport midway through the game. You owe it to your relationship and partner to be as patient as they require.
If you believe that they are showing no signs of effort, then it's because they don't want to play a different sport. In that case, you need to suck it up and end the relationship so you can go do your poly thing, or else you need to give up the poly thing.
But stop complaining that your mono partner isn't making enough effort to be poly. Because they're not poly, you are.
If poly is something you need in your life more than you need that person, then you and that person are not compatible to be in a relationship.
Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).
The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."
Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 02-09-2011 at 07:51 AM.