Let's be bottom line honest here. Of COURSE dynamics are going to change when adding another person or the amount of time with another person. HELLO! There are only 24 hours a day. I'm admittedly currently a bit bitter because my guy all of a sudden decided he didn't have time to commit to me on a regular basis. This was after I moved PARTIALLY to work further on a relationship with him (in addition to wanting to live in a warmer climate.) He was the one who introduced me to the idea of poly.....talking about seeing "love" as "abundant" and not "scarce". etc, etc. I was the one who raised the issue of how does one fit everyone in with how busy life can get working, raising kids, etc? He assured me it could be done.
When it came right down to it he became overwhelmed with job and family responsibilities. (He had another partner before we met and they are raising her 9 year old child, too) Adding another person into his life on a regular basis all of a sudden was too much for him. His partner and I got along well...became very fond of one another. I participated in activities with them as a family and with their friends, so it's not like I was demanding or asking for exclusive time with him only.
There are no guarantees in life in any type of relationship....poly or mono. But, I would like people to really stop and think it through about the day to day impact on everyone
involved when adding other partner(s) in to their life/lives. Please! My guy said he still loved me and wanted to see me.....IF and WHEN he had the time. I was asking for a once a week commitment to seeing me....even if it involved being with the family at the same time. I made the choice to not compromise with seeing him IF and WHEN....even though that's what he wanted. He didn't want me to end our relationship. I never wanted a secondary position and had always been clear about that. It saddens and angers me to think that in the end he had such little commitment to our relationship when the going got tough.