Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG
Is it "fair" to expect no change in current partner dynamics in light of the desire to change the dynamic by adding new ones?
Is it fair to ask existing partners to "not" change when they are themselves being asked to accept change?
If both people are getting some of what they want while still maintaining relationships that they both get something from...is that not feasible?
Is that not what compromise is about?
I do not think it is fair to expect that current partner dynamics would have no change when adding new partners (which inevitably will bring change).
The fact is that life is ever-changing. Expecting ANY dynamic not to change in some manner during the course of life-is just asking to have life smack you in the face. It's expecting to be able to live with a "false front"...
The same holds true for the second question. No it's not fair to ask for someone to uphold the impossible test of maintaining the facade of a false front just because it makes one feel more secure.
It's impossible to guarantee no change in a world that is ever-changing. To ask someone else to give that guarantee is asking them to lie to you.
If both partners agree that the compromise is suitable, then it is certainly feasible.
That is my understanding of what compromise is about...
WOW-I feel so smart! I got through the questions without thinking "WELL SHIT.."