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Old 02-07-2011, 07:48 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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Flamekat
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As to the question... This is one I am having trouble comprehending myself... to me the act of physical intimacy (whether it be as mild as a caress to passionate kissing to intercourse) is a personal and private thing to the relationship... I have friends i hug and cuddle, and friends i kiss (although only lightly i.e. a peck)... while I can see the issue WW has with me becoming intimate in a deeper way with someone other than himself... I do NOT understand it...

From my perspective the intimacy in each relationship is sacred to that relationship and does not impinge at all on the other - I do not see how what I do with someone else impacts the sacredness of what I share with him...

**NOTING** I am a responsible person - so no assumptions of unsafe practises in responses to this please... truly just trying to understand the issue from the mono perspective
I guess I was reading lots of stories and a common theme seemed to appear. People had certain rules/boundaries that helped them with the idea of partner being intimate or in the most extreme case actually having sex with another person. I was not trying debate the sacred nature of intimate relationships, it was more of a thought born from all the reading of what people are doing to be comfortable with all of this. It seemed a little strange to keep reading how person X is ok with their partner having numerous relationships which may or may not include sex as long its not in ear shod, or on a given piece of furniture.

Sex in a relationship does have a sacred status, like or not. No one has accused a partner of cheating by going to a restaurant and eating lunch. Here I'm talking about the act of eating lunch. Have sex with that same person instead of lunch and it may end up being a problem. Does your partner have a partner? If so, what are some of your rules/boundaries. Your intimate relationship don't impinge on each other because???? I think the reason for the rules/ boundaries is for the inpingement factor. Lots of folks talk about not being to affectionate in front of partners... well that might be considered an inpingement to your free and full expression of love. Said expression may make one or both partners extremely uncomfortable, so as to not have melt downs or hard feels or the like. The premise of this whole topic was /is perhaps flawed.

You said you see the issue but don't understand... what do you see as the issue? Or more importantly what is the issue as he knows it.
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