Thread: Advice needed?
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Old 02-06-2011, 03:05 PM
redbullgivesuwings's Avatar
redbullgivesuwings redbullgivesuwings is offline
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 20
Default Advice needed?

Hi people Im new here and have a few questions i hope you can help me with???
I was having an affair with a married man for 2 yrs. Twas love at first site for me and I knew this was the man Id like to marry. Yes I know hes already married. The affair became really serious to the point he (allegedly) told his wife about it and planned to leave her. Hes been married for 17 yrs. no children. Loves his wife but not "inlove".
Our relationship was passionate and intense right the way through the two years up to Dec 2010 (a month before we were due to move in together) he became distant. He got the flu and one of his dogs got ill and it felt as though he was getting cold feet. So through fear of rejection i ended it on 31sy Dec 2010, which i regret. I made a discovery on the 2nd January 2011 that he had been visiting a social networking forum for escorts, courtesans and punters. He had joined the site about 6 months after we met and had posted so often that he had been invited to become one of the forum moderator/admins. I also discovered he had visited two escorts in the time i was with him. I sat on this information for over a month then decided to confront him about it in 1st Feb 2011. He denied meeting escorts and admitted to being on the forum but I have the proof.
Ive been through every emotion conceivable and have thought long and hard about this. As things stand right now we are on speaking terms and he I have forgiven him. He tells me he still loves me but is very raw after I split with him. I would like to reconcile the relationship with him so long as he wants this also and I now feel ready to explore an open relationship with him on the condition that there are no more secrets. I would like the two of us to live together.
My question is. How do I approach the suggestion of Polyamorous with him? And how do I do it in a way which wont disempower me? The last thing I want is for him to think I am easy, desperate, confused or eager to please, which of course Im not. I could pull someone else if I wanted but the difference here is I love this man and have thought deeply about the prospect of an open relationship with him.
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