Thread: Just LR
View Single Post
Old 02-06-2011, 05:22 AM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,510
Default Just LR

One of the most meaningful things anyone has ever said to me was to tell me,
"You aren't weird, or odd or bizarre. You are JUST L.R."

It was a real life conversation, so he actually used my real name. BUT-the point is the same. He didn't judge the aspects of who I am as good/bad, weird/normal, odd/common etc. He just accepted implicitly that all the things that I am, are just ME.

I cried when he said that to me.

I cried because it was the one thing I've longed for my whole life-someone to JUST accept me for who I am without judging what it means that I am who I am.

I cried because it was something I knew (at one time) I had from him; but I thought that had changed when I had my oldest daughter-out of wedlock, as a teen in highschool still. But-I was wrong. I'm glad I was.

That happened just recently-near Christmas I think.

THAT is why I titled this thread "Just LR". Because the most important thing for me is to know that IT IS OK for me to JUST BE ME. I haven't always thought it was, in fact I usually don't think it is and I spend a lot of time either defending the fact that I am who I am or trying to be something I'm not so people will stop condemning me. Neither thing works well for me. Both make me feel like a failure.

It's past time for ME to accept that I am JUST LR and that I should be proud of that. It's not that I can't be a BETTER LR. But I can't be Ariakas or Mono or RP or RC or Maca's dream woman or GG's dream woman or anyone else. I can only be LR and I can only aspire to being a better LR.
That's ok.

So, that's why I named the thread Just LR; why am I writing it at all?

I've pretty much only had threads on here that address a given moment, experience, issue or topic.

So it's hard for me to track "progress" through my posts, because they are scattered all over hell and back.

I thought-just maybe if I take a hint from all of you bright folks, I could put some of the "milestone" moments into one thread and that way when "the going gets tough" as it's bound to do over and over-
I have one simply spot to go to look at the milestones I've already passed.
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote