One of the most meaningful things anyone has ever said to me was to tell me,
"You aren't weird, or odd or bizarre. You are JUST L.R."
It was a real life conversation, so he actually used my real name. BUT-the point is the same. He didn't judge the aspects of who I am as good/bad, weird/normal, odd/common etc. He just accepted implicitly that all the things that I am, are just ME.
I cried when he said that to me.
I cried because it was the one thing I've longed for my whole life-someone to JUST accept me for who I am without judging what it means that I am who I am.
I cried because it was something I knew (at one time) I had from him; but I thought that had changed when I had my oldest daughter-out of wedlock, as a teen in highschool still. But-I was wrong. I'm glad I was.
That happened just recently-near Christmas I think.
THAT is why I titled this thread "Just LR". Because the most important thing for me is to know that IT IS OK for me to JUST BE ME. I haven't always thought it was, in fact I usually don't think it is and I spend a lot of time either defending the fact that I am who I am or trying to be something I'm not so people will stop condemning me. Neither thing works well for me. Both make me feel like a failure.
It's past time for ME to accept that I am JUST LR and that I should be proud of that. It's not that I can't be a BETTER LR. But I can't be Ariakas or Mono or RP or RC or Maca's dream woman or GG's dream woman or anyone else. I can only be LR and I can only aspire to being a better LR.
So, that's why I named the thread Just LR; why am I writing it at all?
I've pretty much only had threads on here that address a given moment, experience, issue or topic.
So it's hard for me to track "progress" through my posts, because they are scattered all over hell and back.
I thought-just maybe if I take a hint from all of you bright folks, I could put some of the "milestone" moments into one thread and that way when "the going gets tough" as it's bound to do over and over-
I have one simply spot to go to look at the milestones I've already passed.