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Old 02-06-2011, 03:12 AM
fiftyonewrens fiftyonewrens is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 2
Default Newness moving

hi.
I'm new...to this board and polyamory. I've have poly folks in my life, I've never been opposed to it, but I've always been in monogamous relationships. Serial monogamy no doubt.

My current partner is not new to polyamory. She had been through a series of unsuccessful poly dynamics over the previous 4 or 5 years however, so where I've heard the NRE might wear off, we went into a monogamous relationship. That is to say, I knew she was polyamous from the beginning but we had a series of conversations where she stated matter-of-factly, she wanted a monogamous relationship. She said she didn't that was going to always been true but it was defiantly true at that moment. Somehow I found myself oblivious to the possibly that meant immediate future because shortly after the shift to monogamy, conversations about babies and weddings started happening. It never occurred to me that polyamory could even be a part of this monogamous future that would take years to build.

Flash forward about 18 months and here I am. New to a polyamory message board. My partner told me about a month ago she felt like she wasn't being true to herself. She felt like she was suffocating, and a rope was around her; she felt oppressed and as if she had no freedom to do anything, She told me these things in a desperate, tearful, voice-saying it was physically difficult to breath at times.

I love my partner. I don't want her to feel those things! So...long story short, I started reading about poly. A fact finding mission mostly. I looked at all the things on these boards, and all over the interwebs. I've read a few books now, 'Opening Up' being the one I think I liked the best.

After what feels like careful thinking, several conversations later, I've decided I think I'd like to try poly. I'm not sure what happens now but....I'm trying it I guess! Right now it just feels like I mean "Hey, partner, I don't want you to feel miserable! Please, do what you need to feel a happy full life".

I don't really know what to say from there....I'm just saying here I am, new to poly and new to this board. and glad for a thread I could say these things in.
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