Monolicious, at first I got defensive about your response, but I waited and thought for a little bit and I think you are correct. I was in drama mode when I wrote that part. My husband loves me. This I do know. Since he was saying he just wanted his wife back, the wife that didn't have feelings for other people, I felt like he no longer felt the same about me. But it was an unfair statement for me to attribute feelings for him.
I do feel I have been very supportive of him. He used to be in a band, I didn't like it. It isn't a very family friendly life. But I didn't request he stop it, I didn't insist he stay away from the friends that were not what I'd like as our friends. I supported him. I went to his shows, I was friendly and polite towards his friends. Now he's in grad school. He also works full time plus. School and work are in different towns, school an hour away. I dislike it and wished he could spend more time at home with our children. but, I tend to the house and kids because he enjoys his career and furthering it with his education is important to him. And I love seeing his sense of pride and accomplishment from this (and its much better than the band!!!) Those aren't the same as falling for someone, true. But I don't feel that I have ignored his needs and wants through our life together.
I don't honestly believe he is mono, at least not in the mono this forum tends to use. We are swingers and he greatly enjoys having sex with multiple women, some of them on many repeated times. He has made comments over a period of many months about really liking this friend of ours and joking about being her boyfriend. However, if he is mono, I am supportive of that. And by that I mean, I am not going to try to make him take a girlfriend so I can say "see, you get it, now I do too" I am glad that he feels complete and satisfied with only me, if that is correct. I am happy that he feels happy and complete, in whatever it is that makes him happy and complete.
He has been honest and open at therapy about all of this and I am very grateful for this. I hope so dearly that it works.