Originally Posted by angeleyes
As I look at it, even if the issue here is the fear within the more jealous partner, the less jealous partner is not going to help matters with "shock therapy." To the extent that the issue really is jealousy, or fear, or whatever, then talk about *that*, show compassion for *those* things, and leave the sex talk to the side.
Just because someone doesn't have the "right" to control another person doesn't mean that they can't choose to honor that person and that person's needs/feelings!
Which is why I say that we all can choose and I don't believe in "I can't help it.." excuses.
To me, if my partner expresses to me that they have jealousy due to insecurities, then it's my job as someone who loves them, to LOVE THEM by listening and talking with them until a resolution can be found for their insecurities.
At the same time, if I am having insecurities-I would like that from those who love me.
BUT-I would not appreciate being told, nor would I try to tell my lovers that they should limit their other loving relationships so that I don't experience insecurity. I would want help resolving my insecurity, not to hide from it.
Ok, I'm getting interrupted again by my personal drama.
I'll try to reappear soon.