Fri. 11/02/04 09:55 EST
During a recent discussion with a friend of mine about V geometries, I stated that I thought it was possible for the hinge's relationship with one arm to affect (her) relationship with the other arm, because people naturally perform comparisons and (re)evaluations. My friend asserted that this would never happen with HER, and any change in her feelings toward a lover would be dependent ONLY on that lover.
As an example of what I was talking about, let's suppose that a second man joins an existing man/woman couple, thereby forming a V. Let's suppose further that the woman finds sex with the second man CONSIDERABLY more exciting and satisfying than sex with the first man.
Isn't it at least POSSIBLE that this new knowledge might affect the woman's relationship with the first man? For example, isn't it at least possible that she might prefer to spend more sexual time with the second man, and less sexual time with the first?
Now, the above is only one crude example out of many, and it is somewhat fictitious.
What I'm trying to get an idea of is this:
"In theory," or "ideally," polyamory might suggest that relationships are independent.
In practice, I suspect this is somewhat utopian, and that polyamorous relationships involve varying degrees of INTERdependence, depending on the individuals involved, since people naturally perform comparisons and (re)evaluations.
So, I'm interested to hear the thoughts and experiences of people who have been practicing polyamory. Don't be shy about asking me to clarify.