Originally Posted by redevil
What I was trying to get at is the residual effects I guess. Not to sound like I'm bashing or anything like that. Just trying to understand where it comes from is all.
As a kid, I was told that God wants marriages between one man and one woman and they should not divorce. So everyone around me held this as a gold standard of success in life.
But my parents divorced when I was round 9. After they divorced, I noticed that each one was happier. I realized that divorce could be a good thing for some people. At that point, I started to doubt the gold standard.
I played a lot of "why" games. "Why is lifelong marriage the best thing?" "Why was it ok for the people of the past to have more than one wife?" "Why would God want people to stay married and unhappy than divorced and happy."
I just went on a very long introspection and decided to rebuild my foundation of beliefs. Along the way I lost my belief in God. But I knew my morality and felt I could justify it in a consistent manner. I also realized that non-monogamy was ok as long as people were honest with each other.
I don't think there is an easy to get rid of childhood indoctrination other than strong introspection or hanging around long term with people who believe differently.