When I said that he has to lie---I meant that if he come right out when he meets a regular girl and tells her that he is "married" they are immediately uninterested in a long term relationship....as you guys well know most don't even know what poly is, let alone trying to explain it the moment you are asked what relationship status is..so what I was saying is that it is very difficult to know how to address the issue in everyday life and dating.
In no way was I saying that we are "fucking around". It is the exact opposite of that! Women want only sex from me and I want a relationship with them, however I want one that includes my husband, which is very hard to find as the person above you pointed out. My husband HAS NEVER has sex with a female and not told her that he was "married." Perhaps I should have been more clear when I stated that. I meant that as soon as a woman shows a romantic interest in him and it seems it will go there....he must be honest and tell her that he is married and then drop the poly bomb which then naturally dosen't go over well...
So, when I was asking for advice I was asking for advice on how to approach single women about poly relationships without deception or anything shady, but still having a chance at opening their mind to the idea or possibility. Maybe places we could go, or people we could talk to, anything helpful...even a community that is like-minded and local.
and thank you to the people that welcomed us without judgement..sometimes people don't word things right and assumptions can be made that aren't always correct, but I can see where one could get that idea by what I typed previously. Thank You.