Can you ask for some stuff before hand? "Please don't show affection around each other the first time we meet, please let me have my say when I need to go or need to say something, please respect that I am terrified that my relationship will end if I do this and show me that you love me.... and this is how?"
All this seems negotiable to me. I think that in talking about your needs you might come to a place where you are ready and willing to move forward. Everything is possible if you decide it to be so... this is my philosophy anyway.
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