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Old 02-01-2011, 10:02 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 8,546

Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
Labels can help. In times of turmoil. They give you a place to stand. If you don't have a label, or confidence. It can be tough to live in the void . . . Sure, in the end labels mean shit...the don't hold things together and aren't gel. But they can sure be settling at times.
I agree. Maybe I should clarify... I don't object to having or needing labels. What I find problematic is "hiding" behind a label, or assuming things about yourself or someone else because of a label. I see it in NYC so often, I guess, because the population is so diverse. People will make assumptions about you because of the neighborhood you live in or where you came from, as if they understand everything about who you are from that one little picture of you.

Labels are useful and can be very freeing. It's been said that when you give something a name, it no longer holds power over you. I do believe that. When something is no longer an unknown, we can deal with it and it isn't so scary. It becomes manageable. But it represents only a facet of who we are, and so many people forget that and stay stuck, myself included.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
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