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Old 02-01-2011, 06:05 PM
Derbylicious's Avatar
Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Victoria BC
Posts: 1,603

Sometimes it seems that in a small poly community that there are tidbits of not entirely accurate information that get out and are presented as fact to the community at large. Usually itís about who is seeing/dating/sleeping with who. Unfortunately spreading these things as facts can lead to trouble in relationships further down the line as when it gets to you, you know that someone somewhere along the line isnít being entirely truthful. Either someone is instigating the rumour to make themselves rack up the points of how many lovers they have or, worse, there is dishonesty within your tribe.

Neither option is terribly good but the second is most definitely worse. Lying and cheating and betrayal are never ok. I dislike having to question if those around me, who I care about, are being truthful with me. Also if someone within our constellation was to add a new partner (at the moment all the ends are closed) itís something that I would need to know about so that I can make choices around how I wish to proceed with safe sex (both to protect myself and to protect other partners).

I would caution people about making public relationships where you have only heard from one of the parties whoís involved. It has the potential to cause a lot of unnecessary doubt and drama. Itís better to leave things out that you *think* you know until you have confirmation. What might seem fun and light-hearted to one has the potential to cause a lot of disharmony and pain for others.
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.
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