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Old 02-01-2011, 06:21 AM
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ray ray is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 819

I agree that the whole not wanting to see/hear anything about wedding business is a red flag. I can definitely empathize so I feel confident speaking on this subject. I became friends with O, who was engaged to A. O and I began dating a week before the wedding. We'd been interested in each other for awhile but I'd never done anything poly before. I helped a lot with wedding prep and then attended the festivities. It was challenging beginning while they were getting married. But I'm glad i was there for the wedding. It was hard in some ways but it told me a lot about them and was an important day for them. I wasn't always sure where to fit in but I did my best to be helpful and figure out a way. I think it is unrealistic to come into an existing relationship and demand primary status. It doesn't mean the existing relationship is superior, it's just been around longer. I can sympathize with her feelings about the wedding but that's what happens when you're with a couple. Especially an engaged one.
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