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Old 02-01-2011, 02:02 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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I have also been thinking about labels lately. I have always balked at being labeled, yet have also been guilty of labeling others. Labels are so limiting, and we simply cannot expect all of what is is for one to be human to fit inside whatever that label is. When we start labeling ourselves, we have to be vigilant in not giving in and believing the self-created hype that we must stay contained within the boundaries of that label, or that those labels really say anything at all about us. Do we really want to live our lives as if "poly," "mono," "dominant," "submissive," "gay," "straight," "bisexual," "introvert," "extrovert," "old," "young," "male," "female," and whatever else we can dream up describes the totality of our being? Fuck, no! Human nature is fluid, not rigid. And the most ridiculous part of it is when we get upset with ourselves for not living up to labels that were put in place for us, as if the label is our identity.

People have formed opinions about me, and I have bought into some of them myself. But all of who I am cannot possibly be encompassed by any of it, and it's all irrelevant in a way: I have been called a "white chick," "liberal," "Taurus," "over 30," "over 40," "high school drop-out," "college grad," "know-it-all," "highly sexual," "prudish," "bitch," "wife," "whore," "spirited," "lazy," and so on, and so on. And each person who viewed me as one or any of those only saw me through that filter and the filters through which they view themselves, so no one ever really gets to know me. Hell, I'm still getting to know me.

Sorry to ramble so, but it has been on my mind a lot lately, just the inadequacy of any kind of label and the audacity and ridiculousness of hiding behind one.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 02-01-2011 at 02:04 AM.
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