To clarify, the no intercourse rule is for you and J alone? It sure sounds like you had some great sex last night!
I hear you on the attachment bit. My boyfriend is a pilot. 7 months ago I knew he'd have to move at some point ... now he has. But I lived in the moment with him as much as possible then and our relationship is changing now to be whatever it needs to be to see it through.
Although, because he's mono, I remember that at the outset, he was still looking for a nice mono girl to be with. What really helped me was for him to keep me informed. If he chatted with someone new online, I knew. If he was to go out on a date (only happened once), I knew, etc. I didn't take it to creepy stalker level and demand every detail of everything. Just the little bits of info helped me, because I didn't want to be blindsided by a One True Love.