I'm not really sure what exactly I identify as yet but I do know it's not swinging. I definitely need an emotional connection to be physical with someone. Even to cuddle or hold hands. Last night I was at a club with my SO, OSO and two other friends. My OSO and I haven't ever had any in depth discussion on the relationships, I just let him take care of it with her. Then, last night, a guy invited her and myself to hang out. He knew that she was married and asked her what lifestyle she and her husband (my so) had. She waffled, said they were kind of open. And then he asked her if they were poly and she said, no, definitely not. Inside, I made the
face. I was pretty tipsy and I'd never heard her talk about it, so I just let her go with it. But I definitely felt freaked out. She then said that she considered them to be 'kind of swingers.' They do not have sex with random people. Nor do they fuck around with random people. He does stuff with me, but I hardly count as random. She's only ever had sex with him. A lot of their friends are swingers. And I mean, what am I, if they're just 'swinging'? So needless to say, I did not sleep well. I called him this morning and was like WTF? He said he'd ask her about it. So I hope that means that at least he and I are on the same page? I'm not going to assume anything. Ahh, terminology. I think that both swinging and poly are valid but it's pretty clear that not everyone's cut out for both.