Originally Posted by axlfreak
I *think* that I am ok. That it really doesn't bother me to know that they are having sex. But that idea seems so foreign in my recovering christian head, that I'm not sure if it's real, or if I'm convincing myself. What are danger signs that I am not ok? Would it be normal to cry? To fill my time so I don't think about it at all? To dwell? What should I expect when he walks back in the door? Again, to cry? To feel relief? To be happy for him? To be jealous and/or angry? I feel very lost in this world, although I chose to enter it. I would just like some info from those of you who can give it. Make a new girl feel welcome.
I think you are doing fine. You've identified things pretty clearly and are keeping some distance - not letting things run away with you.
"reactions" are normal and expected. But you are doing something out of love and concern - in other words for positive reasons. You're cristian background and the culture we live in have to be bypassed. Of course it's going to take some effort (read emotions).
But you seem solid. Keep clarity. Remember what and why you are doing this. And remember that emotions are nothing more than that. Chemical processes. Not necessarily tied to physical reality. You take charge and don't let them