Originally Posted by preciselove
I posted somewhere on my introduction about this. I think a fast growing segment of polyamory is of the polyfi type, people expanding their relationship to include more people, but in a closed format. A lot of mono people can understand this, due to the economic, time, and fun reasons.
These people run into the "open poly" people that can sometimes be very weird (not that it's wrong to be weird). I just think when you're trying to meet people like you it's not necesarily the best way to find people simply by the whole "I'm poly, you are too, hence we should be friends". Poly is way too broad for that. My advice is to find people that you like, regardless of their "sexual or relationship orientation" and "convert them", if they are open to it, to your values. There are many logical paths to take for such a thing and most intelligent people are responsive to it, they just need someone to educate them.
Hi Preciselove! Thank you for the thoughtful response. I know there is so much diversity in the realm of poly, and it is hard to define for oneself where to fit in, and even more difficult to verbalize that to others sometimes. I think I have failed to represent my take on poly, because Jazz and I are not "open poly." We in fact want to be in only "closed relationships," where all people involved are committed to being only with those in the relationship. Now that I think about it, that is not free love. SO, I will stop using that term in reference to my brand of poly. Jazz and I agree on being in "closed relationships". Where we differ is in the dynamic of the relationship. He has a BDSM mentality, and wants to bring in only submissive (though I have recently learned he is flexible with this). I, on the other hand have a connection to BDSM only as something that is sexually exciting, but does not typically leave the bedroom unless when the BDSM-scenerios/roleplay takes us out of the bedroom (the most fun ones do
). I hope that makes sense! So he wants a submissive in a relationship, where as I would rather view my loves as equals. It's all very confusing sometimes!
One thing, I think you are right about is, that we may seem weird
but we are just just two thinking, open minded folks, trying to see how we can live a fulfilling life by our own rules, not society's mandates.
Rambled a little bit there! woops!