I remember your situation from your previous thread, and so I just went back and re-read it. Did you ever talk to them both about your needs? You had felt that she was spending too much time staying over, but he felt weird asking her to come over less often. Something had to be resolved there. Also, they were always doing things without you and you felt left out. What did you do to include yourself? There was also the issue of non-sexual quality time spent between all of you: you and him, you and her, all three, etc. Any efforts made in that regard?
From your update, it sounds like nothing has changed for the better, so I am wondering if you have not stood up for yourself and communicated with both of them. It sounds like you held back and just let them ride rough-shod all over you. Does breaking up seem easier for you to handle than expressing your needs and speaking up?