Originally Posted by koifish
I straight up need my fiance some times I'm sick and it's not always predictable when I will need him. Even if we invited her over earlier in the day, I find it very distressing for him to be goofing off, baby talking, cavorting with our girlfriend in front of me when I feel really compelled to be quiet with just him, like we used to do before we had a girlfriend. I NEED this. When it was just him and me, he used to just come to me when I was feeling bad, without my asking. I have no idea how to deal with this if we've asked her over earlier in the day. I don't feel like I can ask her to leave.
It's important to realize everyone has needs. It sounds like he enjoys doing those things with her, maybe it's because he hasn't been able to enjoy it with you for a while due to sickness?
It's a hard thing with a triad, balancing the needs of people. But you should be getting both of their time in reasonably equal parts. If they can't give it then you're not really in a triad. As to getting rid of the third, that may be easier said than done if she is fulfilling the needs you cannot.