I sounds to me like what you really want is to clear up the ambiguity in your relationship. I'd bet if things were more clearly defined, or the dynamic was more aligned with what you wanted, getting that kind of Valentine's Day acknowledgment wouldn't be as important to you. What I got from reading your post is that you have some dissatisfaction with your situation. Perhaps that is what needs to be addressed, much much more than what symbolic gesture will make you feel better about it.
The world opens up... when you do.
Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein