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Old 01-30-2011, 02:25 AM
kapablekeri kapablekeri is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: CA bay area
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she also admitted during this conversation that she had said whatever she needed to in July to come back into his life.. so basically on my end my girlfriend just told me she wanted to be my friend... so in my eyes.. it is over between her and I... so she and I talk about this repeatedly for a few days.. and she is relieved that she finally told us... I talk to her about she has now made her choice.. my choice hasn't changed from July and now he will have to decide what he really wants for his life and to be true to himself.

So then the communication between the two of us drops off.. and I talk with him concerning this.. that what I said I wanted in July hasn't changed.. that I want a triad.. that he now needs to consider what he really wants.. and that if he wants to stay with her I understand.. and that if he stays with her and then still wants to be with me.. would he like for our relationship to be open.. to be a poly poly relationship instead of a triad.. so he is stuck between a rock and a hard place because he has a full partner in both of us.. and the triad is now dissolved... so a few days ago.. she has asked him to fix this.. and make it better.. so he convinces me to talk with her on the phone.. for all of us to talk.. so he calls... and instead of her talking she goes on the D and starts arguing and tries to bring up other issues.. anyway during the conversation I ask her was epiphany she has had that she wants all of us again.. she said none.. and we go through the conversation that she and I had ... well it got ugly.. and he told her to leave because she only wants to be my friend... so she left. That was 3 days ago.. and now she is saying again that she can't explain it.. that she loves both of us.. and wants both of us..

Anyway... I think she really just wants to be with him and be my friend... I feel that in my heart of hearts.. because for the 20 months she has been saying she wanted this, even though she didn't...

I appreciate everyone reading this and any input would be appreciated.. I feel bad that she is hurting because I do love her and care about what happens to her... I feel really bad for him because she was his full partner and now he has ended it, even though he didn't want to because she doesn't really want a triad.. and we all discussed it at great length in July.. and when she came home in August we spent 2 full days going over what each of us wanted and agreeing to ground rules....

I am feeling betrayed and upset and just ick... but it was her choice as an adult on what she wants for her life...

OK I am sure I have gone on and on and on... And as you have read this please remember this is my perspective as objective as I can be... Thank you for reading and I hope that someone else can relate and any input is greatly appreciated.. Do I try to trust her again? What could be her perspective? Has anyone every been the one in her shoes? if yes, did you ever really change your mind? any input would be appreciated.. and again thanks for reading my novel..
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