Originally Posted by Lobster
I have read a lot, like I said, i know this isn't going to fix itself tomorrow. its just a very hard road to walk sometimes. It does make me feel better when I read and see that I am not alone. I am glad to have a place like this where I can reach out for support without getting some of the attacks that I get from most people about how horrible she is for asking this of me, and how stupid I am for even trying it. I just worry about needing the reassurance more than she can give. 4 kids, she's got a full plate already without me adding too it. I know that she is going to try, but I don't want her to burn out.
I worry about that with my husband too, that he'll get sick of reassuring me that he loves me still, that him loving his girlfriend doesn't change that. So sometimes I don't ask and hold it all in. Then I end up exploding about stupid little things, because the pressure has built up. We've talked about it and he'd much rather reassure me as things happen and take the little bit of time it'll take to reassure me as it's happening, then have me repress it when I need it. The time and energy required to repair everything when I explode is much more than if I'd just ask for help when I needed it. Plus then we have to deal with the anger created by the explosion. I'm working on getting better.
On the flip side, I don't mind reassuring my husband that he's important to me and my dating other people doesn't change that. Doesn't change the fact that I want and need him in my life.
My husband and his girlfriend just celebrated their 2 year anniversary and I'm still dealing with needing reassurance, so don't feel bad that you need it after a few months. I don't think it's a bad thing to need reassurance every once in a while.