You're right about it being a long road...and I find it requires a lot of introspection and soul searching, and sometimes what we find out about ourselves in the process isn't always pretty.
Sometimes I think it's almost like poly is this vast unexplored forest...and we all have to blaze our own trails through it. It takes a lot of effort for apparently little progress, and as people lost in the woods sometimes we find ourselves back in the same place we started, having put forth all the effort just to end up walking in circles (Blair Witch Project anyone??).
It can be all to easy to allow despair to accompany us on this journey, but he's not a terribly useful fellow when it comes to moving forward...or at all. Hope or Faith, or both are far more useful, and usually far sexier (which is probably why some people name their daughters after her...either that or they want them to be strippers when they grow up). All we can do is keep trying to find our way through...
Glad you are still trying...keep the faith brother, and you'll find your way.