I became an unprimary when my wife and I were poly. PN became primary after a time... really now, I wouldn't of defined it as such... she is just as important as she ever was. Our marriage ended, but my love for her didn't change... her involvement in my life changed, but when I think of her now... thousands of miles away, having not talked to her since Christmas, I feel the same as I did 15 years ago... perhaps even more love. The kind that of love that grows with time and experiences together.
I don't have primaries in the sense of hierarchy. Mono is not financially bonded to me or bonded to me in terms of a child, but he is just as important as PN... in time and in experience, the loves in my life become more and more primary... the time I spend with them is not indicative of status either after a time... there is old love and new love and differences in personality... that's it.
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