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Old 01-28-2011, 05:51 PM
Fidelia Fidelia is offline
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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
thanks so much for the replies Fidelia and Bella.
It is my priviledge and my duty to help others find their way out of this valley, in honor of the wise and wonderful people who pointed the way out to me when I was walking through it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Ya, she has watched him hit on women so fiercely that they have had little voice in saying no...
Oh, yeah? Well a knee to the crotch might speak in a voice he can hear! Only "yes" means yes!

Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
that and just crawling into their bed/space and expecting sex... then he would wonder why they would never talk to them again... most of them are young too. He is in his late 20's and they are 16 to 19... total manipulation.
Where I live, forcing sex on a person who is unable to consent (for instance, if they are sound asleep or unconscious) is RAPE, and sex with a minor (even with consent) is RAPE. If he is engaging in this behaviour, this guy is a RAPIST. He deserves incarceration. At the very least, he needs serious therapy, probably for a very long time. Not that he would ever seek help under the current circumstances, BECAUSE HE IS GETTING AWAY WITH IT. His behaviour is currently working for him; why would he change it? If he ever gets treatment, it will probably have to be court-ordered. But that's for the future. The young women involved need self-defense and assertiveness training. NOW.

Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
He gets high on weed when ever he manages to get it... has girlfriends just to have a roof over his head and talks about how privileged others are for having a place to live and money. He is a musician. She was paying his rent from her disability cheque and he lived there for free.
This young woman is living with a RAPIST and paying for the priviledge! WTF! Worse than that, she's using public money to support him! Surely that can be an approved use of those funds. I hope she's not exposing herself to legal trouble, but that's another issue she needs to consider.

Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
If she asked him to pay he threatened to leave . .
Hey, there's the silver lining! That might be a quick and easy way to get him out. I would present him with a bill for past due bills, or at the very least tell him that his gravy train just pulled into the station, and he would be expected to pull his own weight from this point forward.

Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
She spent her savings on him.
I hope she gets some counseling or therapy to help her figure out why she has allowed herself to be so thoroughly used and abused by a man who is so obviously not worthy of a place in her life, much less her love, help and support.

Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I will pass on all the info so far to her. Thanks again. She has a ways to go... she is concerned that he is using young women as usual and can't seem to break away because she thinks she can do something about it...
She CAN do something about it: SHE CAN SPEAK WITH A FIRM VOICE and say "NO MORE!" and "NEVER AGAIN!"

She can save herself . She can inform others. But she cannot change him. His problems are out of her league. He needs professional help.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ImaginaryIllusion View Post
... and now I'll stop here since this is kind of thing is probably a trigger for me.
BrotherMan, you keep speaking up. This kind of thing SHOULD be a trigger, for all of us. I am a rape survivor, and an abuse survivor, and you're damn straight this is a trigger for me. And I'll never stop speaking up about it.

Last edited by Fidelia; 01-28-2011 at 06:02 PM.
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