If I may offer another viewpoint... redpepper is a very frequent poster here. She takes her role here very seriously, and imo can kind of be perceived as our "board mother."
She does have a certain way of practicing polyamory. She is poly-fidelitous. She does make statements about boundaries vs rules quite a bit, so I can see where a newbie would be a bit leery of even using the word rules on this board~!
As RP knows, I have felt a bit judged by her in the past, because I have some relationships that aren't full-on committed live-in lovers. She has an almost knee jerk reaction to "casual" sex or lovers, ecause of issues from her own past (that I do not relate to). I called her on it, and I think we are cool now.
That said, I read the humor in you calling her out on using the dreaded "rules" word.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37